What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

Answer #1 --
This question is tough because most of my decisions/actions are planned, although they may have started as a spontaneous thought! As for the full action, probably purchasing a laptop computer in 1996. I was in grad school, my father had als (lou gehrig's disease), and I wanted to be able to spend as much time with him as possible. The thought popped in to my head that I could do most of my work and be with him at the same time if I had a laptop. So an hour later, I was on my way to Kansas City and purchased a laptop. It did allow me many hours of working while sitting at his bedside, so it was a worthy investment even though he died 7 months later. As for smaller spontaneous things, I do those kinds of things all the time -- unexpectedly dropping in on a friend, calling a friend and meeting for coffee/lunch, leaving notes for my kids to find, creating something fun (art), sending fun mail, cooking special meals, etc. These things I just think of as being part of the fun of life!

Answer #2 --
I'm not sure what would be the MOST spontaneous thing I've ever done because I don't rate them on a scale of worth or importance, but do them because I love life, I'm a happy person, and I enjoy being with those people I love. I could give you some examples of some spontaneous acts I have been involved in -- buying tickets to surprise a loved one to a special event, setting up a treasure hunt, taking a "mental health" day from work to go on a picnic/hike with a special friend, planning a midnight feast to spend time together as a family, dancing in the rain, laughter/laughing, playing a practical joke on a friend, giving of things and myself to the people I love, hugging/kissing someone I love, passion/making love to the man I love, volunteering to help in time of crisis, donating my time and resources to causes I believe in, defending those who cannot defend themselves, and celebrating my love of life by enjoying nature at every opportunity.

What is the one dream for your life you most look forward to having come true?

What is the one dream for your life you most look forward to having come true?


I look forward to seeing my 2 children as happily "settled" adults -- content with the ones they love, leading productive lives, raising happy/healthy/well-loved children, and working successfully toward their own goals in life.

What are you looking for in a relationship partner?

What are you looking for in a relationship partner?

My ideal partner is someone that I can trust with all that I am, to allow him to see who I really am and feel secure that he can deal with that. I want someone who smiles when he sees me arrive because he enjoys my company, whose presence allows me to feel secure without feeling suffocated, who lives life with a positive outlook. My ideal partner would be involved in church and community activities and family would be a priority. I would like to experience life with someone who didn't feel our careers or accomplishments were competitions, but rather successes that we celebrate together because we love and respect each other. I am attracted to a man that acts like a man -- not a bully, not a sissy, but the combination of strength and tenderness that proves he is mature and able to love (and be loved) without threatening his masculinity.

Looking back at your life, describe one particular event that you wish you had handled differently?

Looking back at your life, describe one particular event that you wish you had handled differently?

Answer #1 --
I think if I had one particular event to do again, I would have waited until I was older before I married. I thought I understood what love was, and I did to a certain extent. As a small child, I remember thinking that I loved my parents so much there was no way that they could love me more than I loved them. I thought that I would do anything for my parents -- even to the point of sacrificing my own life for them. Unfortunately, thinking something and knowing something are two different things. I truly understood the meaning of unconditional love when I held my own children in my arms. I wish I had truly understood this difference before I married. As it turned out, neither of us had that important insight and many people suffered from our "uneducated" decision.

Answer #2 --
Probably the decision in my past that I regret the most was the decision to get married when I was so young. We were both young, and our lack of maturity (even though we thought we were mature) did not help our ability to make it work as a couple. We weren't prepared for the commitment that a future together would take. I am most regretful for the way that it has affected my family and specifically, my children. The divorce itself was relatively painless for the children, as they were relieved that I left their father and moved closer to my family. Unfortunately, there was a time later when their father was determined to cause me pain and the easiest way to do that was to hurt the children. So if I had it to do over, and apparently I do, I would not enter into a relationship in which I was not prepared to invest all that I have and all that I am with a man who is also willing to invest in the same manner.

They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure and how does it make you feel?

They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure&and how does it make you feel?

Answer #1 --
My simplest pleasure in life comes from spending time with those people whom I love -- my children, my family, my friends. The activity isn't as important to me as the people I am with and the time I am spending with them. I would easily give up most activities for family time. We often cook together, watch videos, ride bicycles, go fishing, canoe down the river, play cards or board games, hike, travel, swim, and much more. These are the times that create the memories that I will never forget. I also think that these are the times that build strong family ties. My children feel that they can talk to me about anything and everything, and I think that is because I have always been actively involved with them.

Answer #2 --
I guess I have 2 here -- I love to feed the ducks/fish. This activity is very calming, relaxing, refreshing to me. I love the peacefulness, the basic feel of nature, the appreciation of beauty. The whole thing just feels soothing and I often do this activity when I am particularly stressed. Sure beats any drug! My other most simple pleasure is to spend time with the people that I love. There is nothing more rewarding to me that watching the people I love enjoy life and success. We don't have to be doing anything special or anything big -- just being together. Any activity can be rewarding, from a game of tag to watching a video to watching/playing a ball game to weeding the garden. I believe life is what I make of it, and I choose to make mine fun and enjoyable.

What do you find physically attractive?

What do you find physically attractive?
I find that I most commonly notice men that have dark hair, tanned skin, and wear clothes that fit OR have exceptional personalities. I'm not really searching for a "look" but a "total package." I do notice looks, but I am mature enough and realistic enough to know that looks do not make the person someone whose company I will desire. I find that personality is a very big part of how I perceive a person to look. I like good grooming, neat looking, and prepared -- not the "just fell out of bed and picked up whatever clothing was lying on the floor" look. Once I know a person, it's hard for me to look at their physical appearance objectively because their beauty (or lack thereof) has blurred with their personality. I am attracted to a man who acts like a man -- not a bully, not a sissy, but the combination of strength and tenderness that proves he's mature, in control of his emotions, and able to love and/or be loved without threatening his masculinity.

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

That's a tough question to consider seriously, as we often play the game "If I won the lottery . . ." (#1) I want my relationship with my children to be as strong throughout their adult lives as it has been in their childhood. I want them to be happy, healthy, emotionally secure adults, and I hope they each find that special someone in life that makes them very happy. I want them to KNOW I love them more than life itself and I will always be there for them when they need someone. (#2) I wish long life, good health and happiness on my friends and family. (#3) I hope to have the time/inspiration to write my memoirs, as there are things that will be lost forever if I don't get them written down for my grandchildren. I want my grandchildren to understand me as a person and know the stories of my life before their time.

Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

I know this is a broad answer, but "love of life". By this I mean experiencing the excitement of learning/discovering something new, exploring a new place, traveling, planning an adventure together, looking toward the future together, trying a new activity, laughing at yourself and/or at life, investing time/money/effort into the lives of my children and/or grandchildren, enjoying/sharing the simple things (the blooming honeysuckle, looking at the stars, watching a new colt learn to walk). It would be nice to know that the person I was spending my future with didn't have to be "entertained" all the time, but could find joy/laughter/pleasure in everything. I guess I'm eternally optimistic as I always see the future as brighter than the present, but I love to LIVE life. I would like my partner to have that joy/hope in the future and life as well. My family is an integral part of my life, so I look to a future as being full of family -- children, grandchildren, and friends.

What was the last book you read and movies you saw?

What was the last book you read and movies you saw? (answered 11/20/04)

The movies that I've recently watched include Behind Enemy Lines, The Transporter, A Man Apart, The Punisher, one of the Lord of the Rings movies, Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and stand up comedy by Eddie Izzard. Most of these were chosen by my son (I'm sure you can tell!) and we stay up late and watch movies together. I love to read and I've recently read The Da Vinci Code, Cracking the Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, American Literature from the Revolutionary Period, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Chicken Soup for the Teenagers Soul (or something like that!), and Prince of Foxes. These are my last 2 or so weeks of movies of books, as I'm not sure which order I read/watched them in. Sometimes I'm working on more than one of them at a time!

Are you more likely to play competitve sports . . .

Are you more likely to play competitve sports, what professionals play, sit on the sideline and watch the people or just don't really care about athletic events?

This is a really tough one to answer as I might do any of those things. I like to play sports, but I play for fun more than I play to win. I've been a single mom, raising a son and a daughter, so I've taught them how to play and then practiced/played all the sports with them. I also like to watch professional sports -- both on television and live events. One of the best things about events, though, has to be watching the crowd as people are really entertaining. If I had to choose only one, I would probably choose to play the activity myself. It's nice because I'm flexible and have a great time no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Life is what a person makes of it, and I choose to make mine entertaining!

What age would you be if you could turn back the clock and why?

If I could turn back time, I would go back to being 21 again. My youngest child would be a newborn and my oldest child would be two and a half. At that point in life, I could watch them grow up again -- as nothing is better than watching children learn and experience life. Hopefully, I could take my maturity with me when the clock was turned back so that I could enjoy the process more instead of stressing out over the little things.